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Meet the Mods: Part X

12:01 am

It’s been quite awhile since we’ve posted an update introducing our mod team. We know that there’s a tendency for members to think of “The Mods” as some dark cabal ruling Fluther from a citadel, but in fact we rule right out of our own homes. We’re really not so different from you. If you knew what we know, you’d be just like us.

So, without further ado, meet your mods!:

Longgone adds a refreshing international flair to the team (you’ve probably already guessed that she’s not from around here because she writes English better than you do). She mods from her thatched cottage in Moldova, where her internet connection consists of semaphore signals to a Gypsy on a nearby hill with a dial-up connection, so please keep that in mind if the modding seems slow at times. In her leisure time, Longgone trains the little forest animals to march in formation and carry her sedan chair. Favorite quote: “The new ruler must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all.”

SavoirFaire brings an impressive list of academic credentials to our humble little operation: Top third of his class at Pemboken High School, ’82; Most Improved Freshman at Biloxi Community College, ’83; Outstanding Hygiene award at University of Phoenix, ’85, and recently appointed to the L. Ron Hubbard Chair of Philosophy at the City Colleges of Peoria. He originally came to Fluther to fulfill his academic publishing requirement, but he fell in love with the high level of intellectual discourse here and made it his online home. As a mod, he uses his cerebral firepower to identify and eradicate fallacies, faux pas, ad hominims, malapropisms and other unsmart stuff. Favorite quote: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”

“Thorninmud” is actually a composite identity created by two fun-loving fraternity brothers at Ohio State University. Chad (known to his Kappa Kappa Mu brothers as “Thorn” or “Prick”) is now in the 6th year of OSU’s pioneering “Basic Life Skills” program, and dreams of starting his own video rental business upon graduation (ask him about his Kickstarter campaign). He has a pet roach, Roachy XVIII, and is a member of the OSU Companion Insects Club. Favorite Quote: “The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is…42!”

The other 1/3 of Thorninmud is fellow Kappa Kappa Mu-er Mike (aka “Mudster”). Mudster is a pica survivor, but chooses not to let his disorder define him. His main role in the Thorninmud partnership is the random selection of moderation targets, and generating pithy comments by running Bible passages through Google Translator twice. He and Thorn originally met at Companion Insects Club, but Mudster’s pet caterpillar Bruce was tragically eaten by a butterfly over spring break. Favorite quote: “Sick transit, Gloria”

PhiNotPi is a beta version AI program (sorry, ladies) created by Fluther founder Ben Finkle when he should have been upgrading the site’s servers. Several Fluther members have been kind enough to point out recurring bugs in Phi’s code, such as the fact that “he” has claimed to be 15 years old for, like, three years now. Please keep those bug reports coming. We hope to initiate the actual Turing test sometime in the fall. Oh, and favorite quote: “The net change of a smooth and continuous quantity over a given time is equal to the integral of the rate of change of that quantity.”

Mariah (who goes by the pseudonym Rachel in real life) has been a member of the witness protection program for most of her adult life, so we’re not at liberty to divulge too many particulars about this latest addition to the mod team. Her interests include toxicology, ballistics, tracking, and taxidermy. Since becoming a mod, she has volunteered to take on the tedious task of organizing personal information about Fluther members into an easy-to-use database (don’t worry, it’s encrypted). Favorite quote: “Go ahead. Make my day.”